I write this from home at the moment, no longer Marketing Co ordinator at a large e-commerce company. The role was stressful and I got into a tailspin which would have been difficult to correct, plus a manager who didn't really manage me quite well. I've learnt a lot about office people, politics and certainly what doesn't make a great manager. Potential and experience sometimes have to go together, certainly for a role that requires some previous experience in making things happen to a deadline.
When I was promoted I was at first apprehensive, the person who had the role before me left in tears, and relief when she was granted her request for a P45 rather than her resigning. I was determined to do well and better the department, I had ideas and ambitions. My first port of call was to fix issues with the studio, but after it was very apparent that my manager wasn't happy with the work, and continued to make the studio an issue, I got caught up in the small details. When it all finally came to me having to fire a member of my own team (on very poor grounds) I felt like things really couldn't get any worse. As one of the most horrible experiences of my fledging career, I sat saying almost nothing as the guy who was there for 'support' did the firing.
Finally it came to ahead last week, and I confessed I didn't feel suitable for the role and agreed with my manager that I was unlikely to get out of the mess I was in (the mess he'd put me into.) So we agreed I would work out a week's notice from home. I've been applying for jobs straight away and back on with the freelance writing, so at least I do have some income until I find another job.
I'm finally feeling clear headed enough to look back over my life and I've seen one thing. I've spent the last two years jumping from one ship to another. I like to move quickly when I've made a decision, but at times it seems I've swapped one bad situation for another. My last job which was hard work and menial left me with low self belief and confidence. When offered the job of copywriter I jumped at the chance. Now things haven't gone as smoothly as I had hoped in this role, I have really gone from one sinking ship onto a burning one. No one can predict what will happen, but I do feel I've learnt a lot from the last two months which I can take into a new job, and know when a promotion isn't for my best interest, but for the company's.
Hopefully now I'm on safer ground, for about a month or two at least to get back on my feet and into a better company that will see my potential and nurture it, rather than giving me a slightly deflated armband and throwing me in the deep end.